and as it washed over me, I realised so many things.. in the presence of God things really do become clear.
I realised there is still so much shame in my heart & so often I still feel like.. ..how can God stand to look at me, let lone run after me so passionately.. ..fight off the legions of hell.. for me?
and there is the part I don't get: Love & Grace. the real kind, not the human conditional kind.
I am dark yet lovely filthy yet loved dirty yet washed clean
and as these things rolled through my heart and mind I just cried and cried and was so thankful that I don't have to pay the price for my sins I am washed so clean, like new and on top of that I am so incredibly LOVED God is revealing grace and love to my heart anew.
so I'm choosing to move past the shame and despite it, to acknowledge His love and accept it a little more and crowd out all that ugly stuff so that His love has every part of me. one step at a time.
I feel like He has been singing this verse to me over and over for a while now.. to stop hiding from Him stop being ashamed to come before Him.
My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely ~ Song of Songs 2:14
in my life, the hardest thing for me to understand has been how much I am loved. sometimes I still feel like I need to do something to be worthy of His love and grace and time.. but like I heard on the weekend,
He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me because He loves me BECAUSE HE LOVES ME
thankfully.. He will never give up telling me just how much, until I get it.
