tiptoeing

so as you can probably tell,
God has been shaking up my world over
the last few months.
well.. ok.. He's been doing it here and there
for a long time,
but over the last 6 months,
more than usual!

and once again, it all
comes down to Love.

very lately, He's been speaking about
identity and value and love
and how it all encompasses His heart.

I started sorting through boxes today,
preparing to move
and I came across old photos and letters
friends and boyfriends
and a world so old and far removed from my present one
I find myself wondering
who was the girl that owned these things
once upon a time?

there are people in the photos I
haven't spoken to in years
and letters to and from people
who turned out not to be what they had seemed.

it's funny how life turns out.
never the way you think,
but when you walk with your little hand in His big one,
it turns out better.
More beautiful.

but no matter what has happened,
it still comes down to love
and it's love that casts away all fear and
love that transcends
and love that changes people
and love that heals.

love that sacrifices.
love for the dirty and dying.
love that is life, not art.
love that is intimate in every way.

love of the unconditional kind.
the kind I am dying to learn
and through which,
I'm learning to die.