when I was a little girl I loved playing in the garden, climbing trees and imagining a whole different world under the bushes and flowers between the blades of grass and amongst the water of the sprinkler inhabited by ladybugs, butterflies and tiny people a colourful world that was so alive in my imagination.
I guess I've always been a daydreamer When I was 12, we moved to a house that had a large backyard which had vine-covered arches and twisting secret paths to delight any girl.
today I was thinking about how much I'd love to sit in my secret garden again. my current backyard is sparse at best, but my imagination is overflowing still.
feels like a while since I've posted something
more than a video or a paragraph, hehe
feeling much better today,
though admittedly, I sat up in the kitchen this afternoon
and it seemed to be the hardest thing ever.
after an hour, I had to go back and have a sleep
before my head imploded!
small steps.
being sick in bed with nothing but God and
my laptop full of Drinking Music [like this]
has given me a lot of time to think and ponder and wonder.
so maybe I've blogged these thoughts and concepts
previously..
but.. so what?
this year has been so full of pain and heartache with all of the
things that God has been pulling to the surface..
..and so full of beauty and love
as He pours His healing balm over me and mends the dark
and broken places of my soul.
and in the midst of all that I began to lose sight of His heart
in that intimate way.
it became a struggle to keep my head above the water
when I really ought to have stopped fighting,
let me head sink down under
and let Him turn the water into my air
let myself be drowned and submerged in His love
and in His grace.
amid all my pain and suffering through this bad flu
over the last week
as I said, I was challenged by my girl Steph,
to enjoy God in it all, no matter how bad it all felt.
I found myself rejoicing and laughing at how Good God is
haha shaka, come on!
So here I am, bearing the marks of His love
He reminded me, in all that pain
of His heart.
His heart is the treasure that I am seeking.
I found myself back in my favourite book,
Song of Songs
and reading over the love-drunk words
of intimacy and passion
and seeing over again just how much
He searches for my heart.
just how much He is passiontely seeking me.
one time, when I was feeling particularly
worthless and hopeless
My Lover told me that
He would chase me through eternity if He had to,
just to be with me.
Not because He is incomplete without me,
but because He made me and wants to be with me.
WOW.
when I think of His heart and the amazing things therein
I feel so excited at the pleasure to be found there
in that secret place.
just You and Me alone, God.
it's from that place of intimacy and
love and passion
for God's heart
that all other things flow.
intercession, mission, warfare
it all starts there and ends there.
and the more I seek His heart,
the more I find it.
and the more I find it,
the deeper in love I fall.
God wants lovesick and love drunk followers
people who love Him that much
that they'll die to themselves and do anything
that's what brings out His deep deep love
the love that moves the earth
and changes eternity
one heart at a time.
sometimes more than one at a time! haha
More LORD, I want more of You.
More of Your heart.
Hang my locket around your neck, wear my ring on your finger. Love is invincible facing danger and death. Passion laughs at the terrors of hell. The fire of love stops at nothing— it sweeps everything before it. Flood waters can't drown love, torrents of rain can't put it out. Love can't be bought, love can't be sold— it's not to be found in the marketplace.
I've been very very sick for the past 2 days feels like a spiritual attack but God is still for me and the battle isn't mine to fight, it's His. So I'm resting.
and last week I was diagnosed with sciatica due to a spinal disc herniation, pressing on the nerve.
but God still knows... I'm learning to enjoy God amid the pain in my body and keep my eyes on Him He is so joyful, how can I not be? He's the High Priest of Bliss, as my girl Steph says!
