Monday, June 29, 2009
mangoes and moonbeams and cherry trees
uploaded it for a friend, but hey
why not stick it on my blog haha
I wrote it about me and God
walking together
and me missing the summertime
and after putting no photos of myself on here
[well, none of my face]
now you not only get to see me, but hear me sing!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
film buff
there are some beautiful ones out already and
coming out soon... and I'm excited for the French ones.
I adore French cinema.
I haven't been to Dendy in so very long...
the one in Newtown is my favourite!
I love going to the movies alone, like one of my friends
however, sometimes it's nice to share the experience.
especially with someone who will appreciate the
exquisite beauty in the details with me.
here are two I particularly want to see.
Friday, June 26, 2009
this darkness will turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If i'd see you
This darkness would turn to light
Thursday, June 25, 2009
sitting in an english garden waiting for the sun
this poem always intrigued me...
reminds me of parts of my childhood...
...and I still don't like oysters haha
__________________________
The sun was shining on the sea,
Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
The billows smooth and bright--
And this was odd, because it was
The middle of the night.
The moon was shining sulkily,
Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
After the day was done--
"It's very rude of him," she said,
"To come and spoil the fun!"
The sea was wet as wet could be,
The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead--
There were no birds to fly.
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
Such quantities of sand:
"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!"
"If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year.
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.
"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:
We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."
The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head--
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.
But four young Oysters hurried up,
All eager for the treat:
Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
Their shoes were clean and neat--
And this was odd, because, you know,
They hadn't any feet.
Four other Oysters followed them,
And yet another four;
And thick and fast they came at last,
And more, and more, and more--
All hopping through the frothy waves,
And scrambling to the shore.
The Walrus and the Carpenter
Walked on a mile or so,
And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.
"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."
"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"
"No hurry!" said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.
"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed--
Now if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed."
"But not on us!" the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
"After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!"
"The night is fine," the Walrus said.
"Do you admire the view?
"It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"Cut us another slice:
I wish you were not quite so deaf--
I've had to ask you twice!"
"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"The butter's spread too thick!"
"I weep for you," the Walrus said:
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.
~ lewis carroll
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
stormy kind of love
was so good
drank deep of God.
I led worship, after such a long time.
went with my best friend.
Learnt more about real love
and the pain that fear can cause in this area...
..And just how faithful He is.
Real Love endures through all things and keeps hoping.
We visited the Sunday markets @ The Rocks
on the way to church...
it was such a pretty rainy day.
the soundtrack for
Love In The Time Of Cholera
is amazing.
Sigh.. that movie rekindled some old dreams
of adventure and exploration
and ...
Monday, June 22, 2009
envelopes of verse
learn to play the djembe.
I caught a little of The Visitor tonight
[praise God for cable tv, haha]
I plan on watching it in its entirety tomorrow..
its a beautiful movie.
this scene particularly, caught my eye
Beautiful.
now I am watching Love In The Time of Cholera.
I started reading it at uni last year
but studies and other things got in the way
and I never did finish it.
I found it to be beautifully written...
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
last tango
- '2 Days in Paris'.. I never get tired of that movie or Julie Delpy
- loyalty & sacrificial love that I guess I didn't expect
- molten chocolate cake in a mug, with passionfruit yoghurt ice cream
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
with fear & trembling
herself
spent the day with my best friend at Manly:
it was her birthday.
I wanted to do more for her..
we didn't do anything spectacular,
but she seemed so glad to just be with me.
that moved my heart so much.
learning to love hurts.
I mean real love.
I may be reiterating a former post,
but it seems to be the theme at the moment.
I am so afraid of the past and of myself due to the past
that it hinders me from growing at times
and moves me to hurt people when I don't mean to
by holding back so much from them
and always hesitating to go deeper.
Hearts are such delicate things,
yet fierce and tenacious and stronger than they may seem.
I learnt to love a little deeper and a little harder this weekend.
I felt like it was tearing me apart,
but taking that step was really tearing me away
from the old and the misconceptions
and the fears of the future.
fears that the pain of the past has created a dirty impure
monster inside me that will feed off and ruin
any love offered to me.
or that no love will ever be enough to encompass me
and all my failings.
and all my longings.
as hard as it is to learn to love,
it's directly connected to accepting love.
He took me deeper into that this weekend also.
I am so scared to love and be loved for me
but ironically, that is all I really want.
It's all any of us really want, I guess.
sometimes it feels so dark
but He.. He is not afraid of it
neither is He too small to conquer it and
move mountains, planets, oceans and stars to save me.
My amazing friends, my family,
they remind me that I am lovable
and that helps me also to accept
the love and affections of my Heart's Eternal Lover.
and in turn, love them too.
what a beautiful circle of intimacy.
so with fear, trembling & trepidation
screaming in my ears that this is a bad idea,
I move. I step closer to Him
and learn what it means to surrender.
My Lover, He is so faithful
and beyond Beautiful.
Deeply.
and His essence actually is love.
its not just something He does.
it's what He is.
wow. that was an honest post.
In this familiar place
Sheltered and concealed
And if this night won't let me rest
Don't let me second guess
What I know to be real
Put away all I know for tonight
And maybe I just might
Learn to let it go
Take my security from me
And maybe finally
I won't have to know everything
I am falling into grace
To the unknown to where you are
And faith makes everybody scared
It's the unknown, the don't-know
That keeps me hanging on and on and on to you
I got nothing left to defend
I cannot pretend
That everything makes sense
But does it really matter now
If I do not know how
To figure this thing out
Trying to fit these pieces in
Walking on a cloud of dust to
Get to you
I am falling into grace
To the unknown to where you are
And faith makes everybody scared
It's the unknown, the don't-know
That keeps me hanging on and on and on to You
~ Lifehouse
Thursday, June 4, 2009
sweet cherry bomb
:: calling a dear friend on the eve of her birthday
:: dreaming of and craving cherries & strawberries
:: learning to walk into healing with my Eternal Lover
holding my hand
I am my Beloved's
and He is mine.
before the cool done run out...
whenever I hear it.
And it reminds me of 2 of my closest,
most cherished friends,
one of whom leaves this morning
and won't be back until january.
sigh.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Last Daze
my best friends, before she leaves to go home
later this week.
It was beautiful - a day by the beach
despite the overcast conditions,
with some of our other heart friends.
and some pretty things in my city.
a very obscured view of the light show on the sails of the opera house
a pretty light display in the city
an interesting installation in the city..