I remember reading once, something to the effect of... "..anything worth having is worth fighting for.."
I'm learning to love. still learning.
God has sent certain people in my life who are a large part of these lessons. they are the most challenging and most difficult relationships only because they demand a deeper level of heart, of vulnerability, of commitment...
these are the best.
I guess if you hold back your heart you will never really know how much love can be and heal and extend you and move nations..
God is Love and the word multi-faceted doesn't even begin to describe Him. how much more is Love beyond what we see think hear believe or experience. God has been really opening up my eyes to the More that He is. the more that He has. Just blowing the edges of my mind with how much we don't even realise that He is and has for us!
and I guess like this song says love isn't a fight, it's something to fight for. hmm.
"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19
it's our motivation, our goal, our reason, our essence. because we were made in His image.
hmm just processing 'out loud'..
I heard something great from Heidi Baker today that is so true!! "..intimacy is the goal ...fruit happens!" shaka!
I am my Beloved's and His passion is for me.
I took another personality test today (took a spiritual gifts test recently) since I didn't really pay too much attention when we took them in psych class at uni.
I am already quite introspective, as I guess is apparent through my writing. after taking the test again.. I think that I understand some things a little better about myself and the way I relate to other people, the way I relate to God and also the way I view the world.
perhaps I won't share the results just now... ..haha! still processing a lot of it. interesting, though.
I am feeling a little under the weather at the moment. feels like a slightly bad cold.
I've been very very sick for the past 2 days feels like a spiritual attack but God is still for me and the battle isn't mine to fight, it's His. So I'm resting.
and last week I was diagnosed with sciatica due to a spinal disc herniation, pressing on the nerve.
but God still knows... I'm learning to enjoy God amid the pain in my body and keep my eyes on Him He is so joyful, how can I not be? He's the High Priest of Bliss, as my girl Steph says!
this song still makes me ridiculously happy whenever I hear it. And it reminds me of 2 of my closest, most cherished friends, one of whom leaves this morning and won't be back until january. sigh.
I felt inspired to play my ukulele today, after so very long [check out the dust!!] since it's a Hawaiian instrument (this particular model) I gave it a Hawaiian name 'Kauanoe' - the misty rain
one of my favourite songs from one of my favourite artists
my lovely Kauanoe
so dusty!!
music seems to sound happier & lighter on a ukulele
things that made me smile today - putting clean sheets on my bed& dreaming of how good they will feel @ bedtime - brushing my teeth - playing 'first day of my life' on kauanoe - the smells of my dad's minestrone soup
I haven't been blogging lately, due to a really bad cold knocked me for a six and I was out for over a week. Still not feeling fully better, but at least I'm not in bed anymore.
at the beginning of this year, God said He was going to to teach me to fight and boy has He. to learn one has to practice, right? well, I've had a lot of things to practice with.
it's all worth it in the end. the darkest of nights is always worth the radiant dawn to follow. so, I press on and keep my eyes on Jesus even when things feel blurred and truth is all topsy-turvy, He's still worth it. He's still Love beyond all imagination.
I want to be found faithful.
He's been restoring so much to my broken bleeding heart. Opening up old scar tissue that I just wanted to ignore. The kind that is still beating and red and torn just under the surface. Gently washing it clean and fighting away the darkness as He holds me in His arms. A love I cannot understand, no matter how hard I try. I just want to be Lost in Him. ____________
I have missed blogging my 3BT, so here are my 10BT lately, to make up for time lost.
1. walking along a beautiful beach with 2 people who embody beauty and love to me.
2. songs that move, shake, mould and break me. The kind that come straight down from heaven and through amazing hearts that are in constant pursuit of His heart.
3. walking in the grey, shadowy light of a rainy day, drinking in the beauty of the fallen amber leaves at my feet strewn along the path, just for me.
4. siting alone and feeling the brokenness of my heart and the impending despair that was once such a close and constant companion, and crying so hard that I feel my eyes will fall out into my hands, only to have my Lover say, I'm with you. I cry every tear with you.
5. the pure joy and simplicity of a bento box and green tea. each bite taking me to new heights of gladness and grinning like an idiot in the restauran while people look at me and wonder, what's so great?
6. that joyful moment when the phone rang, and a precious embodiment of love in my life spoke to me. I'd been waiting all day for them to call!
7. the restoration of hope in my heart and life.
8. the contrast of colours in nature and people as the weather turns colder and winter descends to wrap us in its wonder.
9. feeling the pain in my leg subside, even for a little while and knowing that it's already healed no matter my experience, because my Lover heals every disease every time.
10. the ability to give love and to accept love. and through that, to learn the deeper, mysterious aspects of its wonder and power.
this girl is so beautiful her music her style so chill and natural she's part native Hawaiian and grew up in Maui.
her Hawaiian grandmother had a dream before she was born, with the name Anuheake'alaokalokelani, which means 'the cool fragrance of the heavenly rose' (which is the Maui flower).
born Rylee Anuheake'alaokalokelani Jenkins she is known as Anuhea, which by itself means 'cool breeze'
admittedly, I listened to her music because I was intrigued by her name. I love names from the Pacific Islands (and yes a large part of my blood is Pacifika) and I especially love names with real meaning which were given deliberately and in love. which is the way I grew up.
enjoy!
my 3BT for today
1. a lovely email from a woman who is closer than a friend, a sister
