consumed

I feel like I am sinking.

suffocating.

I can barely breathe.

God has been really turning up the heat and

demanding more of my heart.

it's what I wanted, what I asked for

but the things of the past won't let me go so easily.

so much ugliness pain darkness evil filth

sin

is being thrown in my face

things I once did

things I want to do

sin really is a seduction.

sometimes I feel as though I were formed in the very pit of hell.

but God keeps speaking His amazing grace

that I was made in His image

and Jesus' blood really is enough.

to stop the devil from robbing me

over and over.

so I am learning to stand and to fight

and not accept these things as

the the dictating tune of my life anymore

I feel like I am dying..

almost physically.

but perhaps that is the right way

for me to die so that I can live in truth.

God is establishing truth and it's hard

because I've believed lies for so very long!

The amazing thing about Grace... is Grace.

I feel so heavy, but God is still God

and He still deserves everything I am

and everything I have

to be worshipped in spirit and truth,

no matter how I feel or what I see

He is truth and He never changes.

as Cynthia says,

feed yourself on the Word of God

or you'll feed off the lies of the devil

but I won't let go.

and He won't let me go.

'..what can I do with my obsession
with the things I cannot see
there's a madness in my being
it's the wind that blows the trees

sometimes You're further than the moon
sometimes You're closer than my skin
You surround me like a winter fog
You come and burn me with a kiss

..and my heart burns for You..

and oh forever
keep me burning
with the fire of Your Love..'