There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing. (They hang there, the stars, like notes on a page of music, free-form verse, silent mysteries swirling in the blue like jazz.) And as I lay there, it occurred to me that God is up there somewhere. Of course, I had always known He was, but this time I felt it, I realized it, the way a person realizes they are hungry or thirsty. The knowledge of God seeped out of my brain and into my heart. I imagined Him looking down on this earth, half angry because His beloved mankind had cheated on Him, had committed adultery, and yet hopelessly in love with her, drunk with love for her.

— Donald Miller

me & my best friend

my dear best friend
the sister I never had..
My Lewa

the amount of things that have come against our friendship
is only overshadowed by the Good things
that God has done in it
and the deep deep healing He has been releasing
in so many areas for both of us.

this is my little pictoral tribute to the friendship
I have with a person who has changed my life in so many ways
that she may never even realise

someone I can't imagine my life without
whom God has blessed me with in incredible ways
beyond my imagination
someone who has modelled the love of Jesus to me
in the both the darkest and happiest of times.

I love you so much Lewa!

Let us go into His dwelling place; Let us worship at His footstool.
~ psalm 132:7

she is a breath-taking beautiful princess
strong and tender-hearted
a woman of the highest integrity
a lovesick worshipping warrior
who walks in eternal truth and incredible love.
She carries the heart and glory of the King of Kings.




..and she's on outreach right now
-- I miss her terribly~!!!

..come share Your secrets with me ..take me into the wild of nature ..the barren land of deep honey where the water moves with Your breath ..whisper Your raging love to my savage heart..

~Losana

from the land of the barren we will cry out for rain

keep looking at the bigger picture.

You are My God

I played this song last night
as I lay in bed

and as it washed over me,
I realised so many things..
in the presence of God things really do become clear.

I realised there is still so much shame in my heart
& so often I still feel like..
..how can God stand to look at me,
let lone run after me so passionately..
..fight off the legions of hell..
for me?

and there is the part I don't get:
Love & Grace.
the real kind, not the human conditional kind.

I am dark yet lovely
filthy yet loved
dirty yet washed clean

and as these things rolled through my heart and mind
I just cried and cried
and was so thankful
that I don't have to pay the price for my sins
I am washed so clean, like new
and on top of that I am so incredibly LOVED
God is revealing grace and love to my heart
anew.

so I'm choosing to move past the shame
and despite it,
to acknowledge His love
and accept it a little more
and crowd out all that ugly stuff
so that His love has every part of me.
one step at a time.

I feel like He has been singing this verse to me
over and over for a while now..
to stop hiding from Him
stop being ashamed to come before Him.

My dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the hiding places on the mountainside,
show me your face,
let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely
~ Song of Songs 2:14

in my life,
the hardest thing for me to understand has been
how much I am loved.
sometimes I still feel like
I need to do something to be worthy
of His love and grace and time..
but like I heard on the weekend,

He loves me because He loves me
because He loves me because He loves me
because He loves me
BECAUSE HE LOVES ME

thankfully.. He will never give up
telling me just how much,
until I get it.

and then He'll tell me some more.

true love goes beyond romance

I remember reading once,
something to the effect of...
"..anything worth having is worth fighting for.."

I'm learning to love.
still learning.

God has sent certain people in my life
who are a large part of these lessons.
they are the most challenging and most
difficult relationships
only because they demand a deeper level
of heart, of vulnerability, of commitment...

these are the best.

I guess if you hold back your heart
you will never really know how much love can be
and heal and extend you and move nations..

God is Love
and the word multi-faceted
doesn't even begin to describe Him.
how much more is Love beyond what we see
think hear believe or experience.
God has been really opening up my eyes
to the More that He is.
the more that He has.
Just blowing the edges of my mind with how much
we don't even realise that He is and has for us!

and I guess like this song says
love isn't a fight, it's something to fight for.
hmm.

"We love because He first loved us."
1 John 4:19

it's our motivation,
our goal,
our reason,
our essence.
because we were made in His image.

hmm just processing 'out loud'..

I heard something great from Heidi Baker today
that is so true!!
"..intimacy is the goal ...fruit happens!"
shaka!

I am my Beloved's
and His passion is for me.



I took another personality test today
(took a spiritual gifts test recently)
since I didn't really pay too much attention
when we took them in psych class at uni.

I am already quite introspective,
as I guess is apparent through my writing.
after taking the test again.. I think that
I understand some things a little better about myself
and the way I relate to other people,
the way I relate to God and also the way I view the world.

perhaps I won't share the results just now...
..haha!
still processing a lot of it.
interesting, though.

I am feeling a little under the weather at the moment.
feels like a slightly bad cold.